We are living in the time when so much is going on around us. Everyone around us is doing unconventional things. The idea of jobs has changed. There are jobs that we never heard of. It was only a few days ago I came to know that being a life coach is also a thing that a person in their 20s can do. We are living in the era, where excellence is the norm and average is embarrassing. There are two ways of going around it- you either get motivated and start working towards your goals or you end up with the fear of being mediocre and a failure.

Social media is the biggest enemy, let me tell you! 

You check out the Instagram of that one kid from the class who could barely speak up when needed. He is an entrepreneur now. The shy nerd is all over Instagram making reels and living the best life. One of your friends is going to Paris for further studies that you once dreamt of joining.

Influencers over social media are living their best life while they’re still in college. People are getting paid to go out on vacation and have fun. And you find yourself trying hard, making all the efforts, but feeling stuck in the dead end job. You either don’t happen to have a cool job despite a fancy degree or a hobby that makes you money. Or your passion project doesn’t seem to be working well despite all of the efforts. 

And the motivational quotes that are out there. Everyone tells you about the 5 kinds of hobbies you need to have. The one that makes you money, the one that keeps you creative, one to keep you in shape, one that helps you socialize and one that helps you to learn. People are really able to find out time for all of this? Who are these people? They don’t have jobs or what? Instead of getting motivated, we often end up pressurized.

Also, do not lay all your eggs in one basket. And we often end up wondering why we spent five years in college? Just to learn that our job is not enough?

Watching shows like Emily in Paris or the bold type only made it only worse for me. A complex task would be thrown in their face. They would just come out of it strong and shiny, excelling in each and every thing. Does that really happen in real life? The only thing that I can relate to is the dark and twisty part of Grey’s Anatomy!

When we aren’t genuinely inspired, we become paralyzed.

Social media conditions us to think that we have to do everything, all the time. As soon as you achieve something, you have to conquer the next thing.

While growing up, we thought we would make a difference in the world. But somehow, we got lost in the rat race. 

And the fears settle in. The fear of being incompetent. The fear of being mediocre. At times, we start hating the people who force their motivation on us. 

Is it bad wanting to be more than just mediocre?

There’s nothing wrong if you are willing to do better. It is definitely good to understand that we are not perfect, we can always learn more despite our age and experience. Having the wish to do better can help us learn and grow.

And you are expected to feel some sort of humility while you try to step out of your comfort zone and try to take a bigger and a higher step. It is okay to feel so when you’re out for the biggest star.

You only feel mediocre when you wish to improve. That is just how it is. The ones who want to be popular, tend to feel more alone. The ones who wish to be extraordinary feel that they are mediocre. Because they are obsessed with growth and improvement.

However, the obsession with excellence is wrong. Attaching your self esteem and worth with excellence negatively affects your physical and mental well being. Defining success by being exceptional sets the feeling of being a failure and causes embarrassment.

But what is success really?

The truth is that the definition of success may vary person to person. And this is how it should be. 

We are living in an era where we use skin care products or shampoos curated for a person’s individual, specific needs. But when it comes to things that actually matter, be it success or emotions or behavior we are expected, all 7.9 billions of us, to fit into one particular box. Does that really make any sense to you?

For someone, success may be the designation of higher status or wealth within the society. The things they own, couture, the lavish hotel stays and trips! For someone, success may be a happy, content, mediocre life. There is no right or wrong to these definitions of success. As long as the person is deciding for himself.

Is Mediocrity really that bad though?

Trying to improve may help us to reach our full potential. But killing ourselves and burning out in the process is so not worth it.

And this concept of exceptionalism is fake, to be honest. The truth is most of us are average. And if everyone could be extraordinary, perhaps, there won’t be such a thing as extraordinary. It is called extraordinary for a reason. If we are to believe that life is only successful if we are exceptional, we are basically calling the rest (and most) of the population worthless. Definitely not a notion that we should be carrying.

The truth is that the information that we mostly receive is from the extremes. We only compare with the best part of them that we are introduced to. We are all pretty much average all the time considering all the things that we do. If one person may excel at one thing, chances are that person is average when it comes to the rest. The reason you excel at something is due to the obsession of improvement, and being human you have limited time and energy and you can barely do it for the rest of the things. Also, not all hard workers become the next exception. Luck plays its important part too.

It is important to understand that we should not stop making efforts. Just because hustle culture is being normalized for the wrong reasons does not mean we leave our aspiration behind. But if all our efforts result in being mediocre- it is completely fine and acceptable. We are still able to leave a mark on society. Our work is still needed, however, the sample size might be a little different than what we expected. And again, it is completely okay.

The key to our emotional well being is to accept the boring truths of life, perhaps. What matters at the end is how we celebrate our small wins. We need to value ourselves and our work. The essential key points of our life are how we blossom through our friendships and love, our small act of kindness towards a stranger, sharing a laugh with someone who we care about. As simple as these things may sound, they are more important in life. And as they sound so simple, why don’t we try these? Because these are the things that actually matter and define us.

If you’d like to read further, you may read this article “In defense of being average” which really amazed me and challenged my thoughts with the fresh perspective.